so i am sitting alone in the kitchen. it is cats and dogs outside. listening to sigur ros. some of you trully understand how fatal this situation is. i hate that i am always worrying and thinking about work. i haven't played any of my songs in like a week. i can't remember the last time i really wanted to paint. where have i drifted to? if we are to have our thoughts be consumed by work and taken from our loves and dreams, where do my convictions really stand? saddening. why do i waste so much time. if i am going to be some working chimp am i doing it for any honorable reasons? no. i am not suporting anyone but myself, and i even have a hard time doing that responsibly. i buy four cds when i go to only get one and don't even end up with the one that i set out to get. i should be planning for our songbyrd meeting but what am i doing? blogging... i need to stop.
2 comments:
derek,
in a previous post you states felling apathetic in your faith. my initial thought was "what makes us spiritually apathetic (or unapathetic)?" what are the standards of "right" living that we strive to? is it organized church activity? is it personal creative endeavors? is it happily having money to spend? a job"? i think the answer is yes and no to all of the above. the answer is right being not right doing. think of the energy and hard work you've put into your job. we don't classify that as bold evangelism or wild creativity but it’s things like this that will most likely have the biggest effect on you and others around you in years to come. i don't think the transformation to right being is a list of life style standards to live by. if it were we would all be in big trouble. but rather a surrender of character to the God who really wants us, just as we are, no strings attached. let Him, like the rain outside, soak you to the bone.
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