looking back with longing

ok i feel another rant coming on. i must warn you though, i got my glass of port here, it has been raining and the old sounding muffled drums slowly just rolled into my ears from a beautifully melodic folk song so.... here it goes.
first of all let me just say that i have been listening to this band i have recently stumbled upon called iron and wine. i am growing an obbsession with these songs. i feel like i cannot part with them or else i will become lost in some foreign place away from the quiet beautiful tones that resonate so perfectly with my heart. i am not joking, this stuff is like heroin. today my mom sent me a package with all of my bills in it. she also included, and never fails to, holiday decorations for halloween. one is a little stuffed scarecrow man, and the other are these pumpkin things that you stick to the window. it meant so much to me...
so i am listening to owen right now and instant messaging with a very good friend of mine, isaac chan.(who is one of the most beautiful souls i have had the privalege to know) we were talking about how God places dreams in you for a reason and how amazing and important your dreams are. there is a line in this song that says, "when did we realize, we were falling out of love" why does that have to happen? why do i always find myself looking back and saying "what a beautiful time! how did i ever loose grasp of that?" does that mean that i dont know how to fully enjoy the moment? or is my life one big progressive "falling out of love" the further i think back, the more beautiful the memories of how my life was become. of course there are certain times of such beauty and innocense, rawness of heart where the love between the people that are around you, the music that floats so delicately perfecting your emotions, the way the weather is always right on time; these times will always stand out above the rest. i do know that i have some control over the beauty that i allow myself to experience and the quality of life i create for myself. but some things i know were times that i didnt even know i was in the midst of either because they were (at that time) filled with a kind of beautiful pain, or because they were just so wonderful that you are not in a position to even conceive that you would want to do anything else but fully live in that moment. only to look back later with longing. if you actually read this all the way through please comment and let me know if you know what i mean cool?