instead of being up front and rude and confrontational, i think that right now i would rather just throw my thoughts out right now and if you feel that they are for you or of some use to you then feel free to pick them up....
i am sitting here right now listening to arcade fire, a band that has re-awakended my musical love and passion. the sad thing is that some of us hear that name and get annoyed by the fact that i mention it when they have never even heard the band before. i am not saying that i am not as well guilty of this but i am begging you to please drop whatever it is that is making you unable to be excited and inspired. worse than that is to think that just because of the fact that people have probably been talking about this band means that some will not be able to enjoy it even if they would have liked it had they stumbled across it themselves. like i said earlier, i am just going to vaguely throw my thoughts out and i don't feel i need to make them outsider friendly.
secondly i have a question. i am serious in asking this and i trully am looking for an answer so please do if you feel that you have something worth while to say. Can you have a friend that you have no respect for? i don't mean like an aquaintance or even regular friends, i mean close friends that you love. can you maintain a healthy friendship with some one who you don't respect? i will leave this one vague as well, but mainly just for the purpose to see how anyone who reads this takes it.
curtis, thank you for calling me all the time. it means a lot to me. im serious.
nate, thank you for at least saying that you would call me. that meant a lot to me too.
where in the journey to adulthood did we loose ourselves? if you take offense to this question or are thinking "that's not me," then you might need to read the question a few more times. when did we make the switch from just loving and enjoying life to spending most of our time trying to justify or prove ourselves? why do we spend so much time skirting honesty?
How come it gets harder and harder for some us to not make hasty judgments as we grow older?
i wish that there were certain things that we could control our adaptation to. after i got back from christmas i missed my family terribly. it really hurt, but the pain from missing them was a constant reminder of how much i love them and am in love with them. it reminded me of the beautiful time of my life that i came down to be with my dying grandpa. i remember thinking to myself during that time that i would soon be adapting to being back in ventura and be sitting somewhere trying to remember what that felt like and wishing that i could feel that pain again. it felt so real and alive. and here i am.
i miss you all so much friends. i love you all. i don't care what has happened or is happening that might be weird or dramatic or negative. none of that matters more that what we have in our love and friendships.
oh ya, one more thing, if you want to comment i am not looking for advice. if you have some amazing "wisdom" for me that you think will change my life then save it . i am asking you, if you are even so inclined, to write anything, to just be honest for yourself. i want to know who is thinking and feeling these things too. and i want to see you, not what you want me to see.
ok i don't feel like typing any more.
3 comments:
yes, i think it's ok, but i want to know who you don't respect.
like i said, it was open ended but i wasn't talking about me. i didn't mean this to be offensive. i was just writing what i was thinking.
I really like your blog and I feel that you can be friends with someone you don't respect, but I think you can never reach that level of closness. Actually, then no.
RESPECT-treat with special consideration or high regard
(webster)
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