perspective

when i was a kid and would be riding in a car on long trips i remember always finding distant points and trying my hardest to imagine what it would be like to be at that exact spot looking back at the car i was in. how that would seem and feel and look. it is mind blowing to think about how our current physical surroundings can be so intrusive on what is going on elsewhere. for example, it is raining and dark and cloudy where i am at. things are kind of quiet and boring. if i let myself fully exist in this moment i would probably go crazy from depression and boredom. but i know that there are places where i have loved ones and i have been there before and will probably be again that are beautiful and sunny and warm.
so back from tour now and back to real life. i am not completely grounded yet but that is fine by me. as always, traveling has stirred me and refreshed me. it was a breath of fresh air that was long over due in my stuffy colapsing little world. i am currently trying to work up the energy to write down a day by day over view of everything (at least the important stuff) that happened on the tour. this will be much easier that telling all the same stories over and over. i miss my friends and family as usual and feel guilty for not having time to call and keep up with all of you as much as i did. hopefully the future holds for me long nights of talking, laughing, eating, drinking and loving with all of you. i was so touched this morning by some scripture that i read because it nailed me right where i am at right now and made me soak in it's words of hope and peace. the scripture is philippians 3:12-14 and i will be living by those words for a while i am sure. i also began reading thomas merton's "seeds of contemplation" this morning and once again i was completely relieved to find a balm for the pains of thought and searching that i have been suffering from lately.