raining in baltimore

In my life I can think of a handful of memories that stand out as some of the most beautiful and meaningful moments in my life. Times where I feel completely aligned with who I am and who I was made to be and the wonder of being God’s child.
Last night we played in Baltimore for the second time. About a week ago we played there at this kind of street festival in this beautiful square bordered by ancient churches and buildings dating back to the 1800’s. Baltimore is the kind of city that you show up in not having very high expectations. I couldn’t recall anything that I knew of that made Baltimore significant in any certain way. This is also due to my embarrassing lack of knowledge though as well. Its just that, being a musician, you only tend to think in terms of what has come out of a certain city musically. That is how you relate and how you grow to understand the culture. Like bob Dylan being from Minneapolis, you can’t help but walk around and consider what it was like for him to walk the streets of the place that made him into the wonderful artist he is.
We got to the venue a little early and walked around for a bit. Went to a Barnes and noble right on the bay, which was in this pretty cool little area. It reminded me of an east coast version of something like pier 39 in san fransisco. It was all right on the water of the Chesapeake Bay and there were all kinds of cool attractions like a real submarine docked so that people could go in it and check it out. You know, things like that. Very cool. It was one of those areas that you feel like you could hang out for days. After a bit of browsing we then headed back to sound check. Brent, our tour manager and sound guy (and pretty much all around genius) was not with us for this show because he also works with thrice. They were playing a festival in Canada with the raconteurs, the strokes, wolfmother, gnarls barkley… pretty much the most insane line up you could imagine. He had flown out early that morning to do sound for thrice. Brent does a ton for this group and so we were feeling a bit unwound and bummed because he was not around. It was actually really odd because I realized how very much he does to hold this group together and make it a well-oiled machine. There was just a bit of a weird tired vibe in general. This was the first show where we didn’t really have anything going on the rest of the day so we were just kind of quietly hanging out in the dressing room. It was just us and the shys playing. By the time the shys got onto the stage there were probably seven people in the crowd. On nights like this you are basically presented with the decision to either be bummed out and think it is going to suck, or to make the best of the night and have a good time and play your best no matter how many people are there. Well for some reason the latter just came naturally. There was just this wild energy that came out of no where and we all stood up there right in front of the stage rocking out with the shys. By the time that we were to go on I was feeling pretty tired and a bit tipsy. I was unsure of how the show was going to go. The second we started playing though something just felt right and good. I think we had just gotten to the point of growing tired of the strain this tour can have on you in so many ways. We just let go and enjoyed ourselves. It was so much fun and we played really well. I don’t think I’ve ever heard nate play so tight and well. Him and I really locked in together. It was beautiful. I told chris, the bass player for the shys, later on that night that it felt like we were playing the songs for the first time. I was reminded of why we had written the music and the songs and what they meant to us at the time. After we were done it didn’t even matter that there were seven people there. We still played one of our best shows. I just sat back on a couch in the main room for while afterward just soaking it in. so obviously at this point my endorphins were pumping pretty hard. I just felt like there was this obstical that we had arrived at and overcome as a band.
In between a bunch of cheers and hugs and drinks we slowly got everything packed up. I began to get super tired so all I wanted to do was get into that van and sleep. I stepped outside of the venue to help load up the trailer and it was raining. The thought came into my head “oh it’s raining….it’s raining! And we are in Baltimore!!” you know like the counting crows song? So I don’t know what it was, but this flood of emotion overcame me. Wait, let me first give a little background. I have always loved the counting crows. There is just an emotion captured in their music that I instantly understand and can relate to. Any time in my life that I have been really down or in a dark place all I would have to do is put on ‘August and Everything After’ and it was like having a friend there that is going through the same thing as you. There is a comfort in that. In addition there is something so emotionally potent about that song especially that sometimes it would be the only thing that would ever make me actually feel anything at all. I know you know what I mean. It’s like I have a relationship with this song. It has been a wonderful friend and partner in life for me at times you know? It is like the red house painter’s song or something. It so perfectly and painfully captures a moment or a feeling that it is simply paralyzing.
So I step out of the venue and instantly I am aware of the weight of this moment. It was a realization like no other I have ever experienced in my life. God had taken something that has always been shrouded in pain and desperation and brought it to life in me in the most beautiful and unimaginable way possible. being a musician it was such an incredibly intimate moment between God and myself. Here I was standing on this street corner tired and hungry and confused and filthy experiencing the same thing that a man wrote a song about years and years ago. A song that means more to me than I can put into words. I quickly rummaged through my bag, pulled out my ipod and dialed it to ‘Raining in Baltimore.’ I felt like I had been sucked outside of reality and was just observing the life going on around me. Everyone became animated like an actor in an old play or something. These two hefty black girls trying to look like j-lo stumbled by in a drunken fit of laughter. They were holding onto each other as if they honestly thought that either one of them were capable of actually keeping their balance. I looked to my left and saw all of the guys hanging out and smoking and joking around by the vans and trailers. There were bums scattered all over the place, some circling around the group of guys asking for change. I looked up and saw the clouds, backlit by the moon, and felt the rain on my face. When it falls straight down it reminds me of space movies when they travel at light speed.

Anyways, I am sure I don’t need to go crazy with this elaboration. You know what I mean. So moving on with our little trip here…
Where were we… seattle. So we played the gay district in seattle, whatever. It was a fun show and a sad night as well because we had to part ways with the delta spirit. The show ended earlier than most of the other ones because every night on that day of the week it was a gay club, like gay Friday or something. They rushed us to get all of our gear at least outside on the curb by the van. The second we were pretty much out the promoters began covering the walls with these huge black and white pictures of old 70’s gay porn. We’re talking bushy mustaches and shag carpet gay. This stuff was graffic too. Well, I guess it was normal. I was just not used to seeing that kind of thing because it has never been literally put right in front of me, especially on eight foot tall posters. Now let your imagination just run free on this one because it probably wouldn’t be that far off the mark of what this club was like. We were all pretty dumbfounded by the situation. being the jovial boys that we all are it is hard, especially in this situation to act in a mature maner when there is such and obvious and easy way to make people laugh and play a joke on your friends. i mean there was really no other choice. i am sure if there were girls around it would be different blah blah blah. so we ran into the club and right into the bathroom and ripped these posters off the wall and rolled them up under our arms and jetted out of there. we thought we'd give the delta's a bit of a going away ceremony. while they were being distracted we got duct tape and slapped these huge posters up on the back of their trailer. now this would have been really genius if we actually had a clear thought in our heads because instead of letting them find out on their own that there are two larger-than-life hasselhoffs doing the unmentionable on the back of their trailer, we ran over to them like giggly school girls and said "ha ha he he he look... hahaha just go .... look ...he he tee he he." after the initial and expexted repulsion they had a good laugh and so did about a hundred others who were walking by watching this whole circus go down. we must have looked like we had never see a gay person before and were like oriental people at disneyland. after that we all headed to what has been becoming our regular seattle watering hole, linda's. now what is interesting about this is that when you have to be at an airport at four a.m. the next day to fly to ohio where you have a radio show and a festival to play, the decision to go out and have bunch of drinks and a 'good ol time' should seem like an easy one to make. but in honor of our youth and enjoying life and letting tomorrow be tomorrow or some shit like that. we decided at 1:30 that we wanted to have one last shibang with the deltas.
so at about 2:30 we said our goodbyes to the delta spirit boys and they have been dealy missed. we had to try to get some sleep because, like i said, we had to be at the airport that next morning at four a.m. to catch a flight to ohio. man, this is insane thinking about it now. i surprised we didn't all die from over-exertion...ness. we made our way to the cheapest and dingiest hotel in seattle to have a quick nap and shower. funny though, the shower felt more like a sand blaster and the nap felt more like i fell over really quickly and hit my head on the pillow and got dizzily right back up. i couldn't have done anything worse to my body especially because of what was in store for us that next day.