inconsistency

I want to do so many things that sometimes I feel that I end up getting stressed and doing nothing.  Why does it seems so difficult for me sometimes to balance my responsibilities with what I truly want for my life.  See, most of my day is filled with trying to make a living.  I am ok with that, honestly, I am not super happy where I am working now anymore because the economy mess is causing my bosses to loose their minds and they seem to think I have done something with it.  But I am ok with that.  I need to move past the whinny bitch who doesn't have enough time to sit and dream about all the cool stuff he used to do.  I know that I am in a good spot relationally (wonderful friends and family, dating a wonderful girl), educationally (taking classes again and working towards a degree),  and having a job in general is a good thing right now.  I think that I am just missing the relationship with God that I used to have.  It was almost like I had a coach with me at all times who would reassure me or comfort me or guide me all throughout my day.  I am done trying to decide whether or not I believe in Jesus.  I always have, I had a rough spot where things didn't add up like they used to and I threw a fit but I have learned that it is difficult to grow up spiritually too.  Now I need to just learn how to do that as an adult.  Which reminds me, guys we really need to start getting together.  I know we all need it.  Call me.