tonight i am in a very "what's the point" kind of mood. everything seems to have this dismal ooze dripping from it. one thing i have to say, screw being poor, screw it right in the a-hole. im going for rich. i mean filthy rich. i wanna sniff coke off a whore's ass!!! uhhh... everyday i worry about driving my truck to work, if i will get pulled over because the blinkers don't work or if i will get pulled over because the registration is expired. then i go to work so that i can not get paid enough to stress out. God forbid that my truck overheats when i am on the way home not smoking and i have to use my cancelled cell phone service to call the expired AAA account i don't have anymore. you know what the most exciting thing is that has happened to me in the last two days? i cut my thumb.... yes you read it correctly, i cut my stupid ass thumb. i was at work freaking out trying to get the frappuccino mix made in a hurry (which is very important and interesting) and i was cutting open one of the containers with a box cutter and SLICE!! blood "awww shit!" more blood uhhhh napkin damn this is a lot of blood "hey we have a first aid kit right?"
ok sorry about that, i thought that after that whole slice thing it would be cool to keep going with that style of explaining it but like most things, now i feel embarassed and vulnerable. it was cool because it bled like a freakin... thing that bleeds a lot. ....
ok i haven't posted in a while. i haven't just written. ive done all these videos and pictures types of posts. i need to just type. just type, let it out man, i need to take it back to the roots, to the reason i really enjoy this whole "anti cool" that we all love so dearly. i need to stop mtv'ing the shit out of my blog. you know what i thought about most of the day when i wasn't thinking about work?.... work! and then i come home and all i wanted to do was something that i enjoyed and that relaxed me. ya know kind of have some alone time. and there is nothing wrong with that except the fact that i sat and played guitar for an hour or two just in reaction to how shitty work was! do you realize how lame that is. i feel like those business men in tokyo or something who work in these huge high rise buildings, ya know like that movie in the early ninetees with mr. mom where those japaneese guys have p.e. everyday before work. and they would go down to floor one thousand where there would be an imitation forest where they could pretend that they are enjoying styrofoam land more than cubicle land. they would go there with their buddies and sit down on a mushroom and watch pornos and smoke green tea joints or something lame ass. green tea joints and porn in the magical styrofoam forest! and at the end of a long day they go to an airport or something and sleep in a tube!!!
i just want to play guitar and do the things i love because it is what i love, not as a cool down time. ok wait a sec. i don't mean to say that playing guitar is anything like styrofoam land. i don't even know if there is a styrofoam land. ok screw that analogy. it doesn't work because styrofoam land probably sucks just as bad as cubicle land unless you are a raver and then styrofoam land would be amazing.
i don't know what i want to say right now but i know that i want to say it. im in a funk, i hates funks they suck ass. i want to be in a... groove, ahhhh forget it nevermind that either!
ok what do i want to do right this moment.... camping, i want to go camping, i want to be playing cards and getting tipsy with friends, i want to be sniffing coke off of whore's asses, i want to be in a movie theater, i want to be riding a horse, i want to be at hogwarts, i want to be on a tour bus. ok that's enough, here is a fun little game (annoying cheezy favor) we can do... this very second think of exactly where you would want to be or what you would want to be doing besides where you are at right now. and be serious, no trying to be funny or smart or any of that fake shit just type it as a comment don't think just do now! ohhh i need to go to bed i am already worrying about work tomorrow morning.
6 comments:
Your blog inspired me. Because I thought it was just me. I spend so much time at work, that's all I think about. I come home from work and I don't want to do anything. I sat on my couch for 30 minutes eating Breyer's Reeses Ice Cream doing nothing. No music, NO T.V. cause I was to Lazy to get up and put something on. So, this is going nowhere but to say: We're all Miserable.
apt. 17, spring 2003
I want to be drinking coffee while walking around portland. Although, styrofoam land sounds tempting :)
and blinkers are for suckers!!
slab
waking up, warm, on a house boat in the middle of the Pacific to the sound of the wind hitting my home made wind chimes from the deck above. That feeling you have when there is nothing to think about, nothing to worry about, just the moment to live. The sun streaming in as little flickering patches, hitting your face. The days that a first thing that comes to you is a smile or a song. I have not had a day like that in forever. And softly, in the back round of that house boat the smell of coffe and the sound of a strumming guitar. You guys would have to be there, too. Friend, just hold on to the things you love. I wish I could say it will get easier, but I just don't know. I did, however, rent you a whore, she'll be at the apartment when you get home from work. She doesn't provide the coke, but she does have a rock hard ass.
a dim lit jazz club. the kind of place that you'd go to with friends and sit down for dinner. the music would be as thick as the cigarette smoke hovering above the piano player. we'd all be sitting back in our chairs full from the meal, having a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. and the band would be playing something beautiful and haunting. a song that would hush the room.
Post a Comment