went to church today. it has been a while and i really enjoyed it. oh and just for those of you that care, the guitar player from plank eye goes to this church and i talked to him for a bit today and he remembered my name from when i met him like four months ago! i got wiggly knees. one really remarkable thing about this church is that after each service they have these small group type things that usually consist of about twenty to forty people. and we sit and have a conversation about what we thought of the message. i think this is a lovely idea, if everyone is willing to be vulnerable and honest, because everything you are thinking about is still fresh in your mind. the pastor is really intelligent as well which is very nice.
so the message got me thinking about my current spiritual situation again and the more i think about it i realize that i no longer feel like a family member of the american christian body. i mean this in a pretty broad sense too. i just don't feel like i belong anymore, or want to. this isn't to say that i don't still consider myself a christian, but the general perception and whole thought process of the american christian seems so ludicrous to me now. i wonder a lot too about doubt. like true doubt. have any of you ever allowed yourselves to TRULLY doubt. i mean searching for truth in a completely unbaised way? i know i haven't. it's freaking scary.
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