living on purpose

today has had a great start so far. i hate to admit that i always get a bit dubious about when things seem to start off well cause in the back of my mind i can't help but think " is this day going to balance itself out by giving me a bad night?" it's lame i know. welcome to my world. so i woke up early and went on a run. very nice. working up a good sweat and really opening your lungs is a good thing to do. got in some good reading time and a healthy breakfast. spent a good amount of time catching up with josh t. on video chat which was super sweet and futuristic. i remembered to take my vitamins, which always makes me pretty happy.

 i do seem to really be missing my friends lately though. no girlfriend and an empty house can get to even me i guess. my self image of myself as this irrepressible vagabond is starting to show some cracks!   but i shouldn't fool myself, i know that i need to be around people.  my only interactions with people lately have been at work and that is not bad, it is also not my people though.  maybe that's what it is.  i haven't been able to spend any quality time lately with the people i really care about.  i know that a lot of you guys have had to deal with a lot more of that than i have so i want to make it clear that i am not complaining or feeling sorry for myself.  i am just observing where my head is at right now.  

this also brings to mind another whole different idea which i was talking to josh about today which is that i mostly dictate my life and the decisions i make based on the negative.  i would make a decision based on what i don't want my life to look like rather than deciding "this is who i want to be and this is how i am going to be that."  

off to work now to interact.