life has been gnautzy (gnarly, nuts and crazy) lately.  all in good ways though... for the most part.  i think i just want to tell my friends that i'm still alive.  or maybe i want to pretend that by writing this people would be relieved and say, "oh geeze finally, i was so worried because he hadn't written anything in so long!!!"  that is the beautiful illusion of blogs isn't it?  we write, and yes, it feels good just to write, i'll pretend that i am doing that right now, but it is ok, i think, to admit that i long for the justification (comfort) of my friends knowing what i am thinking and going through and having something to say about it.  i don't even care if it is not commented on ( i actaully do)  but it just feels good to still throw a post out there and know that the worm on the end of my line is still showing some form of a sign of life.  how odd is it that i look for vindication of social connectedness through sitting alone at home and sending out electronic code to other computers connected to other people sitting alone sending back electronic code which tells me "you are loved see? 00010110001111010101."  lets just pretend that is binary code for the word hug.   i tried to make a joke just now if you couldn't tell and just trust me, i had a very convincing look on my face when i was writing that just now.  it had a sneeky look in then eyes but a smile that said "gotcha!"  but seriously... josh talbot: if you know the binary code for the word hug i would love to know what it is.