lunch break

i'm taking a lunch break from studying right now which basically means that i've been sitting in starbucks drinking just coffee for so long that my hands are too shaky to write so i need to eat something so that i can have diareah and get back to my logarithms. i love that word... logarithms too, that's a cool word too. so i've had a few minutes to think about something other than math and you know what the first thoughts that enter my newly free'd mind? why the hell am I doing this? this has been the foundation of the existential crisis that I call my mid to late 20's and i am pretty sure that i am not alone in this... right guys? ...maybe? I isolate myself from anyone i truly care about so that i can be alone to work out the future in order to make sure that, when i am less able to enjoy life than i potentially could right now, i'll at least have money. does that not sound screwed up to anyone else? i know that there is really no other options and that is just what you do at this age (or what i should've been doing when i was "this age"(9 years ago)). I know all the things that you're supposed to tell yourself when you get to this point of thinking and all of the things that you all might be thinking right now when you are reading this. but i just have to say that its kind of a bummer. i don't know, i guess that i just miss the ability we all used to have to be able to spend time with each other. we've lost it. there might be a few of us who still get to spend a good amount of time with a few others, but for the most part, that has taken the back seat to "accomplishment." i don't know, this is a dead-end thought process i know... and i'm not married right now so that makes it all a little... "different." i need to get back to studying.